Bussyfart Adventures Of The Mind (Chapter 4 Blightly Wilderness)
It was a dark and stormy night, the morning was dewy and bright. We follow our hero, Scout from Minecraft. As a recap from the last chapter Goku, the Anti-hero of nightmares defeated Scout in a frail battle of six-dee checkers. He was ruined, Shadow the Hedgehog couldn't take any more of their everlasting game, and banished both Anti-herobrine Goku and Scout from the My Singing Monsters mirrored earth island. Scout fell unconscious, Goku fell in love. The two of them were sent to New York (Smurfs movie 2011).
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The ride was eventually over. Scout knew because Musicman (Formerly Metroman) picked up the bus and shook everyone out of it to throw at Gru and his minions. Jermy was the last one in the vehicle since the drivers abandoned it nine stops ago. Then the fire nation attacked. Scout used his blessed legs to make a run for the ocean, he couldn't swim but if he ran fast enough... "Hey, it's me! Goku! I thought I lost you for good! And yet here you are showing off your smooth legs to the world right before me..." Goku... He found me again! "Back for anotha ass kickin' are yah? Was the first three not enough?" The ground shook, Goku knew he only lost to Scout two times before playing Uno... "There's a difference between cheating in Uno and being cut off before I could beat you playing six-dee checkers... Jerma..." GASP "How'da know I cheated when we played Uno?!" Hmpf. Tisk tisk tisk... "I didn't, but now that you admit to your crimes let's count this next game as a tie, winner takes all. Are you in?" Scout couldn't refuse, he couldn't refuse a challenge from his rival. "I'm in, but this time I got the board."
How six-dee checkers is played with a minimum of three players, each player is given three TF2 jarates to defend. Both players draw five cards, limited only by their own imagination. Then the game begins, players take turns decided by a game of rock-paper-scissors loser takes the first turn. The goal is to destroy the other players' Jarates first. The game is played within the mind of a third player.
Scout picked up a minion and punched it to knock it out, it glowed to the shock of Goku, and the game began. Using Gokus super sayin powers they entered the empty brain, Scout was familiar because it looked like pyrovision, and Goku was familiar because it looked like his own vision. The cards were ready to be drawn, the Jarates filled with glittery red liquid. Gross! They got to imagine, Scout planning out a flawless strategy. Only requiring four of the five cards, instead of leaving himself at a possible disadvantage he made up a random card to fill the space. Goku was ready, finishing up his fifth card with a few dry macaroni noodles. Scout prepared his hand, he was going to throw rock, knowing Goku by heart and how he only ever throws paper. His prediction was correct they threw their hands, "Rock! Paper! Scissors! Shoot!" Scout switched his rock to a finger-gun and destroyed one of Gokus Jarates, one of 5 cards disappeared like it never existed. "Cheating again! I should've known..." Scout snorted, this was only the beginning... "It's your turn now, Dumbku!" GASP, He grabbed at his heart, he would've died if this was the real world... He prepared a card, a thousand wish genie! the genie appeared it was Will Smith. "You get three, and if you even THINK about asking for a thousand for the second time today I am gonna-" SLAP! Goku wagged his finger at him. "Not this time, I need you to break that jar for me! I'm Goku!"
The genie saw the five collective jars, and broke one of Gokus. "GAHH!!! NO NOT MINE!!" Scout laughed hysterically. "Oh I wish I could see the look on his face again!!" the genie snapped his fingers and the wish was granted. "GAHH!!! NO NOT MINE!!" Goku didn't know what took over him, nothing happened to his jarates that time but he was just as destroyed as before. "You're my genie! You have to grant my three wishes!! I wish I never summoned you again!!" The genie snapped his fingers again and he disappeared, the wishes he granted staying exactly as they were. Two of Gokus Jarates gone... All of Scouts fully pristine. The game was playing in his favor. He grew glasses and they glinted, Scout drew his second card. "This card changes the rules of the game, we have to roll dice, first to zero of one hundred health has to move their piece back three spaces." A Candy Land board appeared out of thin air, a moldy piece of bread, and a goose with a witch hat stood on the board as the players' pieces. Scout opened his dice bag, Goku did the same. "We're rolling D-sixes or D-twenties?" Scout obnoxiously corrected him. "d-Eights your moron, those are so overrated". Goku placed a diamond block, rolled his d-eight, and landed a five. He moved his moldy bread five spaces. The super sayin scowled, then drew his card. Scout has three jarates, if he went to Toufort and bought a cow how many would he have left?
A puzzle card, This was challenging. Goku counted on his fingers, and pondered for days, how many jarates would he have left? An impossible question, he had no choice but to forfeit. Scout knew the rules, if you discard a card the other player gets two turns! "Well I guess it's MY turns now!" Jermy placed two cards, and rolled the dice it landed on two. He dragged the goose with a witch hat two spaces forward, it walked fice spaces on its own. The cards Scout pulled were exactly what he needed. He sacrificed the goose to damage Gokus life points directly, taking out fifty. His second card, an expired drivers license. If Goku found out Scout would be in big trouble. "Interesting play Jermy, But I think I have something better..." Goku rolled his dice, and it landed on a four, he moved his moldy bread once again this time getting lucky and landing on a green square. Damaging Scouts life points directly with seventy-five damage. He pulled a third card, giving himself a power boost the louder he could scream. He took in a breath of moldy air, and out of his lungs came the sound of a feral man.
"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He glew bright gold, energy pulsing from his skin, he flew as fast as light itself and destroyed one of Scouts jarates. The red glittery liquid covering the Candy Land board. It was the end of Gokus turn and Scout was in a real pickle. Before the juices could soak into his clothes he played his final handrawn card, his wildcard. Scout had to win here and now, with his final card... It was exactly what he needed! One phone call to anyone in any universe, he pulled out a phone and dialed the number. Goku watched anxiously, there's no way he'd lose again he still had two cards left!! Scout called his mom. "Hey, mom! How've you been? ... Oh works been easy as usual... Yeah, I'm having fun, I'm so glad to hear from yah again too ma! ... Did I get my drivers license renewed? uhhh... WAIT MA! DON'T HANG UP ON ME JUST YET I!" Dialtone... Goku overheard the entire call. His drivers license needs to be renewed? so that card face down... Is... DESKSLAM "THAT'S YOUR EXPIRED DRIVERS LICENSE ISN'T IT JEREMY!?" A massive golden ring of pure rage flipped the board. The card faced up, indeed it was Scouts expired license. Scouts jarates exploded due to Gokus excess energy, Gokus last jarate perished the same. "Look who's cheatin now!" Goku clicked his tongue. "You forgot to roll your dice.." Scout did as he asked, rolling a perfect eight. Damaging Gokus last life points directly for fifty damage. The game was over, Scout had defeated Goku Anti-hero.
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After the game was won and they both returned to the mortal plane, the minion woke up too, and escaped to the water. Scout shook Goku Anti-hero's hand "Geegee's broski" The sayin nodded. "I'm Goku!" His flying nimbus came to pick him up and he made his great escape. Scout was almost done with his adventure, but his favorite song just started. Sex Bomb by Chris Pratt, he jazzed with the song on loop for hours, conga-ing his way back home to Toufort. "Sex Bomb! Sex Bomb! You're my sex bomb! and you can give it to me baby when I needa get it on! Sex-" "SCOUT ENOUGH!!" Arthur Morgan burnt out his brothers party aggressively. "Daww! Baby bro I missed you!" He pounced on the brittle Texan giving the little guy a warm hug. The rest of Scouts brothers were alerted of his arrival at their base. Then the sky crackled, a burst of red clouds formed and the silhouette of Goku hid behind them. "Oh no he's back already? I gave him a Geegee and everything!!" A growl thundered through the sky...
"No, you fool... It's me..."
Scout shivered in fear, it can't be...
Shadow the hedgehog flew down from the sky, on the head of Natsu. (fairy tale) "Greetings mortals, Scout." GULP! Scooby whimpered in fear hiding behind Shrek. Shadow walks to him, holding up his hand for a high-five. Scout was dumbfounded. "Wait, you're not gonna banish me again?" Shadow sighed. "Of course not, what you did was cool as hell!" They high-fived, it was epic, there was money falling from the sky and a freezeframe. Credits roll and a slideshow showing what happened to everyone starts to play. Subwoofer Lullaby by Chris Pratt playing over the credits. Goku taking Vagetta on a date... Bad'Breath is being promoted to a senior cat of Bloodclan... The airport finally being able to afford to build an airport... Ash Catchem finally peacefully working at a gas station to make enough money to buy a new bus pass... The bus-driving penguins of Madagascar find and steal another bus... Musicman saving Metrocity again... The minion living in Bikini Bottom... And end credits finish with a picture of Scout and his mish-mash family...
The smell of bacon filled the room, Scout woke up for real this time. His alarm was unplugged by Spy just to give him a few more hours of sleep after a long day. "That was a weird ass dream... I need to stop watching all that Youtube crap".
The End... <3
